Hello dear self. I have finals tomorrow, 2 papers. Both are killer subjects. I couldn't sleep and tonight is my last night at Cek Tu's house. I'm about to have sahur with Cek Tu's family in just a few minutes. It's weird why I can't sleep but then I remember that I always cannot sleep during my last night at home. I guess, choosing Cek Tu to celebrate 1st Ramadan is never a bad decision.
Its been like 3 months not having any rest. For these two days at 'home', I reflected my life a lot. I noticed how bad I am when confronted someone that I don't like. I just forgot how to smile or even solving a problem in a good way. Its like a thing to be sorry for, right? but then I found another quote. It said, Tuhan kirimkan kesalahan agar kau belajar sesuatu. It was kind of like that laa, I can't remember it clearly but you guys can understand it like I did right.. And there's another saying that goes, inilah masa kau dapat lihat siapa sahabat, kawan ataupun musuh kau. Yelaa, you're never in a good mood and there's still a few friends of mine that still love me (I feel blessed).
And another 'hikmah' I got just now, love is sincerity, respect and honesty. I believe love more now. You know right I still got traumatised with my history about love... Lack of trust is kind of issue.. Oh yeah so you guys can see how all these experiences make me know myself better. I have a habit to run away quickly from the things that I avoid. It seems like a good thing but I called it as a habit for a reason.. For yesterday's moment, I had a chance to see someone's sweet smile and it makes me miss someone deeply. The thing is, I avoided to see that sweet smile because I'm not strong enough to bear all my misses. Of course for now...I regret...
Well Ana, 3 months is sure a long time.. So I hope I can survive another month to back to my normal life.. Apa lah sangat ujian sekarang kalau sebelum ni kau dah hadapi ujian yg lebih sukar. Just a sentence to persuade my heart to be strong.
It's RAMADAN so don't forget to make a lott of dua. Its going to be a great month and a new chance for you to back on track. To do all the sunnahs and many more. I'm going to love myself more and appreciate my small circle of friends better. I'm going to thrive my result insya Allah amiin
I'm sorry for all the broken english. Its just that I'm used to speak with myself rather than bercakap in malay.. huhu. I hope I manage to save these hikmahs. Love youuu (which is myself), goodbyee :*